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How do non-Christians think? If
it is some years since you became a Christian, maybe you have
forgotten? Or if you made a commitment very early in life,
maybe you never really knew. And if your only friends are
believers, how can you ever find out? What are their felt
needs and worries? We cannot reach those we do not understand.
Let’s look inside Jay’s head …
“I’m not a Christian, so ...
I really don’t understand this
religious stuff.
I did try and read bits of the
Bible when I was at school, but found it hard to understand. I
never went to church or Sunday School or anything.
It really bugs me to see
Christians claiming that they know it all.
I doubt they have much fun
anyway, because they are living by a load of rules.
Well, some do. Mandy in the
Accounts Department goes to church, but she can’t keep her
hands off men. Ever.
Of course, I do try to live by
my own rules too. Well, most of the time. I still feel bad
about what happened with Sam though.
There is one church in town
that give out leaflets in the street. They are so badly
produced though – just lots of text and Bible verses. I never
read them properly. There’s an invitation to their church
services at the end – but I would never dare to go to a church
by myself, even if I wanted to. I’d feel like a fish out of
water.
Church services sometimes come
on the TV too. I always switch channels, they seem so
old-fashioned and preachy. One time though, I came across a
Christian program that was looking at the Christian messages
hidden in recent Hollywood film releases. Now, that WAS
interesting, and it made sense to me. (I try to get to the
movies every two or three weeks.) Another time, there was a
story about Christians starting an AIDS hospice in our
country. Those people really impressed me.
Not that I actually know any
Christians at all. Otherwise I could perhaps find out more,
and ask some real questions. If they’d try and give straight
answers, and not just preach at me.
Well, if their beliefs work
for them, that’s great. Of course, I do read my horoscope when
I remember to. I always try to avoid things that it warns
against. And Charlie gave me some healing crystals – I keep
them by my bed, and they really seem to make me feel calmer
sometimes. Buddhism sounds fun, actually. There are evening
classes at the local college. Carlos and Miriam have been
going. They say it is really good – there is no pressure to
join anything, the classes are friendly and interactive, and
already they feel that their lives are changing for the
better.
Not that I need God, or
religion or stuff. Though it would be nice to know where I am
going. To feel more grounded. Have a purpose. And I wish I
could cope with stress better than I do. Or even find someone
I could talk to about the things that worry me. My job is not
safe any more. I can’t face all that job-loss stuff again –
it’s happened twice before. Specially with my loans to repay.
And I’m just hoping that dad’s medical tests won’t show
anything bad. Specially now he has left mum and is living
alone.
And even deal with that thing
which happened when I was a child – what that man did to me in
the toilets. I never told anyone, not even my mother. It still
makes me feel guilty. I manage to blank it out most of the
time. I’m sure it contributed to my last relationship breakup.
Life is a bit lonely just now.
Of course, I always try to
escape from the week’s stress on Friday night. Me and a few
mates. It seems to help, somehow. But there’s always Monday
again.”
TheLife.com
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